Adoption & Corruption w/ Becca Rubenfeld

— Becca Rubenfeld, co-founder and COO of AnchorWatch, shares her story of adopting her son James from a Ukrainian orphanage, a process that took two years amid government corruption and systemic failures.

— She details her discovery of a large corruption ring in the regional Ukrainian Ministry of Children that had falsified adoption documents for 15 years to steal children's inherited apartments and sell them on the black market.

— The adoption timeline was complicated by the 2014 Ukrainian political crisis, Crimea invasion, and the threat of James being drafted into military service before he could leave the country.

— Becca recently received a diagnosis of aggressive and rare breast cancer and felt compelled to tell James's story now while she could ensure it was on record for him and her family.

— She discusses reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and fetal alcohol syndrome as key risks in international adoption, and why she chose to adopt an older child (age 6+) to better assess these conditions.

— The hostage program system allowed her to meet James for a summer before formal adoption, establishing an existing relationship that enabled her to select him despite international adoption rules against pre-selection.

— For prospective adoptive parents: understand the structural differences between domestic foster adoption (free to $10k), healthy infant adoption (~$50k), and international adoption ($30k–$100k+), each with distinct trade-offs around child trauma history, family involvement, and legal recourse.

— Recognize that international adoption involves significant systemic corruption risk; hire facilitators with integrity and independent verification rather than those connected to the adoption industry, and be prepared for lengthy, emotionally demanding processes that may require on-site presence (travel, visa steps, court appearances).

— Older-child adoption (age 6+) offers better visibility into developmental and behavioral issues before placement, reducing risk of severe attachment disorders that can destabilize families; prioritize education and social indicators as markers of stability and resilience.